All Purpose Rant Away Thread - 3.2.1 GO!

[i_forget]

[QUOTE=thriftygranny;5698847]

Wow I am surprised this could even be a school rule, I understand kids get there feelings hurt,even my own kids at one time or another were upset they weren't invited to something or another, but in my opinion it's is part of life and part of growing up.

A lot of schools are taking a stance against bullying by focusing on acceptance.
Being hurt is part of life and growing up, but not being invited to a birthday party is social exclusion and many schools are trying to focus on inclusion. At 6 years old or whatnot, being excluded from a birthday party can have a huge impact on self esteem.

[thriftygranny]

[QUOTE=i_forget;5698902]

A lot of schools are taking a stance against bullying by focusing on acceptance.
Being hurt is part of life and growing up, but not being invited to a birthday party is social exclusion and many schools are trying to focus on inclusion. At 6 years old or whatnot, being excluded from a birthday party can have a huge impact on self esteem.

Interesting concept, I volunteer on a weekly basis at my grandaughter's elementary school, I am aware of the bullying stance and acceptance is encouraged and taught in our schools and I believe it needs a lot of work where we are, but having to invite the whole class to a birthday party is a new one to me.So I guess the low income people are excluded from having a few kids from their class for a birthday party because they can't afford or have room to accommodate 20 plus children at a party (this is a modest class size where I am, some classes are in the high 20's some in the low 30's if there is an IA in the class), to me that seems just as much of an exclusion.
How would this policy get enforced ? I would think at best they could ban invitations from being distributed at school which in my opinion wouldn't be a bad thing because it does make kids feel bad when they don't get one, but with the privacy act the days of getting a class list for the kids to call each other for play dates is long gone so sometimes school is the only way to seek out contact info.Complicated for sure.

[Midnightly]

ok.. there is something really off when the trick or treater at your door a pillow case in one hand and in the other.. a bag of booze

[Midnightly]

the trouble with inviting ALL the kids is you need a venue large enough to have all those kids and i don't have one (we live in a condo) we have to book a party at a place that is affordable.. and we do a micheals craft birthday party and they set a limit of 10 kids in the room.. her class has 16 in it.. she gave out 5 invites.. so it's not a case of she invited everyone except 2 kids.. they were handed out AFTER class.. it's just some parents kids got upset (two she said cried) because they saw what was happening(after class) didn't get an invite but more kids DIDN"T get invited then did.. it's not like she sat all the kids down on the carpet and handed out the invites..

basically the parents of the upset kids had a "talk" with the teacher and the teacher had to pass it on to me because she couldn't ignore it.. sadly it's one of those lessons of life that have changed over the years.. when i was a kid you didn't invite every kid you invited your friends and there were birthday parties you hear about at school the following monday and you didn't get invited to

[Midnightly]

the trouble with banning invites at school is sometimes that is the ONLY time a child sees her friends so it's like saying "sorry you can't have a birthday party because you can't invite any of your friends" this is the first birthday party invites to go around this year.. i'm sorry some kids were hurt i never meant to hurt kids feelings.. but.. sometimes you have to draw the line.. my child doesn't want to invite the kid who BIT her two weeks ago to her birthday party.. and i should able to respect that choice

[thriftygranny]

the trouble with inviting ALL the kids is you need a venue large enough to have all those kids and i don't have one (we live in a condo) we have to book a party at a place that is affordable.. and we do a micheals craft birthday party and they set a limit of 10 kids in the room.. her class has 16 in it.. she gave out 5 invites.. so it's not a case of she invited everyone except 2 kids.. they were handed out AFTER class.. it's just some parents kids got upset (two she said cried) because they saw what was happening(after class) didn't get an invite but more kids DIDN"T get invited then did.. it's not like she sat all the kids down on the carpet and handed out the invites..

basically the parents of the upset kids had a "talk" with the teacher and the teacher had to pass it on to me because she couldn't ignore it.. sadly it's one of those lessons of life that have changed over the years.. when i was a kid you didn't invite every kid you invited your friends and there were birthday parties you hear about at school the following monday and you didn't get invited to

I feel for you as I don't think you did anything wrong and the teacher certainly didn't need to talk to you just because these parents were upset.I can't for the life of me know what the parents thought they would accomplish by talking to the teacher about it.They should have been talking to their children and teaching them that sometimes they can't always do the things they want to do and that not everyone can throw a party for 16 and it isn't the end of the world. I don't understand what resolution the teacher thought she would get from talking to you about it, like I said before she overstepped her boundaries in a huge way. I am sorry this put a damper on your daughters big day.

[thriftygranny]

the trouble with banning invites at school is sometimes that is the ONLY time a child sees her friends so it's like saying "sorry you can't have a birthday party because you can't invite any of your friends" this is the first birthday party invites to go around this year.. i'm sorry some kids were hurt i never meant to hurt kids feelings.. but.. sometimes you have to draw the line.. my child doesn't want to invite the kid who BIT her two weeks ago to her birthday party.. and i should able to respect that choice

I agree completely.

[Midnightly]

I feel for you as I don't think you did anything wrong and the teacher certainly didn't need to talk to you just because these parents were upset.I can't for the life of me know what the parents thought they would accomplish by talking to the teacher about it.They should have been talking to their children and teaching them that sometimes they can't always do the things they want to do and that not everyone can throw a party for 16 and it isn't the end of the world. I don't understand what resolution the teacher thought she would get from talking to you about it, like I said before she overstepped her boundaries in a huge way. I am sorry this put a damper on your daughters big day.

it reminds me of an image (obviously someone did up as a joke) of a two pictures one 30yrs ago and 1 now... 30 yrs ago the kid gets bad marks and the parents blame the kid.. now.. they blame the teacher.. i understand kids got upset and that was never the intention (i didn't purposely invite 14 of 16 kids leaving out only a few... more were left out then invited) and it wasn't done IN class it was done after hours as the kids were leaving... i completely get that schools are trying to promote positivity, no one left out, no bullying.. but when it comes to an out of school event like a birthday party the school shouldn't say "no you can't invite any kids from the class" i do think the reason the teacher called was because she had to.. the parents made a big issue about "well they made my kid cry you need to do something about it" i'll admit sometimes life isn't always fair, and not everyone gets included in everything it's nothing against the kids (and again it was done after class.. which is pretty much the only time she was able to hand them out)

[Angela273]

Bad case of food poisoning. Not certain of the source because I am the only one sick. Dh and LO are both ok. Yuck!

[Midnightly]

Bad case of food poisoning. Not certain of the source because I am the only one sick. Dh and LO are both ok. Yuck!

ohh yuck! (look at what you've eaten and they havent??) i hate being sick i hope it passes fast (and passes easily)

[GoJays]

ok.. there is something really off when the trick or treater at your door a pillow case in one hand and in the other.. a bag of booze

[torontogal12]

Some people try to set you up to make you look/feel bad.

Them: "How is your injury?"

me: "Still hurts"

Them: "OMG you always complain!!"

No. I didn't mention it at all in our entire conversation until you ASKED me, and I answered. How is that complaining?

[SassyAshley]

In my family Birthdays are huge we always did something and as kids yes we were spoiled. I had Birthday Parties that ranged from the whole class being invited to only having 1 friend and some of my close friends being excluded as what I was doing that year was costly and my mom could only afford so much.

I see and understand that no one wants to be excluded but really how can the school tell you what you can and cannot do off school property.

[Lyssia510]

I agree kids are indulged and better to give than receive is a lesson that is most important.I totally understand the no gifts thing I have done it myself when the kids were young.I also understand people that have massive parties inviting people they are friends or close with, not because they attend the same room for school. I will not however feel obligated to invite a whole classroom if I don't want to, it is way beyond a teacher's business and I still believe a lot of people do it for popularity, gift grab, or the see what we can do syndrome...not all of course but I can assure you if I asked my children if they wanted the whole class to come it would have been an be an emphatic NO,

I always invited in the whole class from jk-grade one just so I could meet the other parents(here they all stay for the party, no one just drops their kid off and leaves) and set up play dates. Definitely wasn't because I wanted a bunch of presents for my dd(and let's face it 80% of the gifts kids get from school friends are bags filled with cheap toys and candy from the dollar store or at least it has been in my experience). Now we just do the few kids she hangs out with at school.

My rant for the day:
Not being able to walk through the mall without some guy or girl working at a kiosk trying to spray me with something, wanting to straighten my hair or squirt some type of lotion on me. If I want to try your product I will come to you and ask don't chase me.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

DD's birthday is next month and she's inviting 10 kids (out of 24). At our school, invites must be discreet. Usually the teacher will place them in back packs when they are outside or the parent emails/calls the other parents.

DD has been invited to MANY parties this year but I do know of 1 she wasn't invited to. She didn't even care (new kid in her class and they only invited 3) but we talked about it anyway (just to ensure she understands its not a big deal).

I think it's important that parents talk to their kids and make them realize they won't always get everything they want. Even at our school Halloween event, parents were calling the school to complain that their kid is upset that they can't wear a costume. Previous years parents complained about wearing costumes. You can't make everyone happy!